One-On-One Support To Help You Live Wholeheartedly After Loss

Are you feeling that so-called “negative” emotions like fear, anger, envy, sadness, hopelessness and depression have taken over your life since losing someone or something important to you?

Are you finding that you and your life have withered and feel smaller and weaker since your loss? Or perhaps you’ve felt small and weak for as long as you can remember?

Are you struggling to find your “new normal” since that big thing happened, and finding that peace, connection, meaning, love and hope all feel inaccessible right now?

If you felt a “yes” to any of those questions, then you’ve come to the right place.

I know what it’s like to go through a major trauma and to find my way back to joy, peace, connection and meaning after significant loss.

Our daughter died in utero at around 5 months gestation, because of an hereditary kidney condition that I suffer from. Because of the risks to my health and the strong possibility that my kidney condition would limit a baby’s growth in utero, we might never try to get pregnant again. The multiple losses of our precious daughter and all the dreams we already had for her, my health, the chance of ever naturally birthing a child and life as we knew it left us reeling.

One step at a time, I’ve found my way to a new path and we’ve created joy and meaning in our lives again. As a Social Worker and Life Coach, I’ve also helped hundreds of other people to do this too over the past 10 or so years, so I know that I’m not special. Peace, connection, joy and wellness is available to all of us – even when after trauma and loss.

If you have gone through or are still in the middle of major trauma and loss, I can meet you there. I won’t give you the “7 steps to happiness” bollocks you’ll read on most personal development blogs or the flimsy motivational hype you’ll get from many coaches and counselors.

I’ve been there and I know that creating joy and meaning after loss and trauma is no easy road, but I have many tried-and-tested, solid tools to help you find and create a life that’s worth living after loss. (You can read more about my qualifications, background and personality here…)

Who I work with and how I can help…

I work with anyone who has experienced the loss of someone or something important to them. It doesn’t matter how long ago your loved one died – an hour ago or 25 years ago. And your “loved one” might have been a person, a pet, an intangible thing (like a job), your health, or even something that only ever existed as a dream (yes, sometimes our dreams die while we’re still alive… discovering that you’re infertile is an example of this kind of loss.)

Whatever your loss and wherever you’re at since your loss, I can meet you there and help you to live wholeheartedly through and beyond your losses.

Individual sessions are tailored around your needs, but the things we’d work on together might include:

  • discovering, designing and owning the way that your loss has changed you for good (Because it has changed you for good, hasn’t it?)…
  • learning about how to tune into your innate self-healing system, and how to create a lifestyle and environment that eliminates obstructions to your unique, natural and intuitive, healthy grieving and self-healing system…
  • learning how to communicate your grieving experience and your needs to your friends and family, so that you build greater intimacy, and enjoy the healing power of “remembering in community” rather than becoming isolated.
  • designing ways to remember your lost loved one in a way that brings you greater wisdom, peace, inspiration and joy, rather than pain…
  • learning how to manage your fear of opening your heart again, and opening to whole-hearted living and a deeper experience of peace, wellness, joy, gratitude, meaning, connection, love and hope than you ever experienced before…
  • discovering what you’d like to do and create in the world with who you are now and your expanded wisdom and ability to love and serve. I’ll support you to move through fear and build your legacy of love…

Some of the benefits that you might get out of our individual sessions include:

  • reduction and even elimination of any negative or unhealthy effects of trauma that have persisted since your loss: intrusive flashback memories, hyper-vigilence,generalized anxiety, emotional numbness, nightmares, survivor’s guilt, physical tension, aggression, panic attacks, intense physical and emotional reactivity, depression, insomnia and self-soothing with food or substance abuse.
  • more love, peace, joy, gratitude, creativity and meaning.
  • closer relationships with your loved ones and a deeper sense of belonging, community and solidarity. A sense of dropping the mask and social pretences and feeling able to be yourself. A deeper sense of comfort and “okay-ness” both within yourself and with others.
  • clarity about who you are, what’s important to you and what you want to use your precious life for.

It’s not about “positive thinking” or feeling “good” all the time…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that there’s a way to grieve that doesn’t involved feeling furious, desperate, sad, afraid, vulnerable, envious, lost, empty, and many more uncomfortable emotions.

You’ll still feel that stuff on one level, but it’s possible to develop a new relationship with these normal and healthy grieving emotions – a relationship where they become familiar friends who visit occasionally and bring valuable gifts for you, rather than a relationship where they feel all out of control, conflicted and intrusive, and ripple further destruction and loss through your life.

It’s possible to feel a deep sense of “okay-ness,” peace and wellness even while you experience the darkest, most difficult grieving emotions. And it’s possible to mine incredibly valuable wisdom and resourcefulness out of the darkest, most difficult emotions. It’s really hard to describe this dual state of grief and okay-ness, but Alice Walker’s words are the best I’ve found for describing this state:

To learn more about the ideas that inform the way I work, sign up for my newsletter and read my regular articles.

One-On-One Remembering For Good Sessions Via Skype or Phone

I can work with you just about anywhere in the world, so long a you have access to a phone line or skype and internet connection, because we’ll work together over Skype or phone. Sessions are 60mins long.

Buy 1 Session At A Time: $120 Per Session

Please note: You can pay with a Paypal account or, if you’d prefer to use a credit card, select the “Don’t have a Paypal account?” link and you’ll be able to use your credit card.

Frequently Asked Questions About Individual Sessions

Click to read frequently asked questions about Cath's one-on-one sessions

I don’t live in Calgary. Can we still work together?
Yes! I’ve worked with people in South Africa, Canada, The USA and the UK. I use phone or Skype for our coaching sessions and we’ll just find a time that suits both our time zones. If you have Skype, then the call is free, otherwise I can call you on your landline using Skype and this costs just a few cents a minute, which I’ll ask you to cover.

Do you offer sessions over the weekend?
Sorry, I don’t. But, I do work 9am to 6pm MST and, depending on where you are in the world, you may be able to secure a session that is after work hours for you.

What are your spiritual or religious views?
I’m not religious. By that I mean that I do not identify as the member of a particular religion or attend a religious institution. If I was ever going to be a part of a religion, my religion would be called “peace in the home,” and it would be really simple. It would be all about finding and keeping inner peace that extends to the people you live with (often the most challenging relationships to infuse with peace), and beyond to all of the people you interact with.

I’m probably fairly “spiritual” in my approach – if by “spiritual” you mean a belief that we’re all connected to each other and to a power that we can all access that’s inside of all of us and also greater than all of us; that we’re all already “whole” beings capable of wielding seemingly “magical” powers to intuit, create and heal; that much of what it means to be alive and conscious is an awesome, miracle and mystery; and that somehow, in between the miracles and the messes, we can trust that it’ll all be okay…”

I often get asked my views on the afterlife. I really have no clue what happens after we biologically die, but I do believe that there are different kinds of deaths and that people can live on as ideas, “guides” and sources of inspiration long after their biological deaths. Some people experience the “living on” of their loved ones who’ve died as memories that they continue to carry. Some people report feeling a “presence,” having “visits” from their loved one through animals, objects or other people, or having conversations in their head with their loved one who died.

There are all sorts of explanations for how this is possible. I don’t care about the how or the scientific or factual accuracy of the experience (because frankly this is all a mystery!). What I’m concerned with is whether your thoughts and stories about your loved ones who’ve died and your ongoing relationship with them after they’ve died are enriching your life and liberating and inspiring you to live more wholeheartedly (and peacefully!).

You had a big loss in your life not too long ago (Oct 2010) – won’t you get depressed hearing about everyone else’s losses all the time? Are you sure you can put my needs first?

Thank you for asking this – it’s a good question, because how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking will have a bearing on the way I work with you and the things you feel comfortable to say to me. It’s a question that I asked myself for a long time, and the reason why I took almost a full year off from one-to-one work after Juggernaut died. There was a time when I was still too “raw” to be sure that I could prioritize someone else’s needs over mine, so I stopped my work. I’m at the place now where I can once again be sure that I’ll prioritize my client’s needs over my own and I can separate their “stuff” from mine.

If you have a need to tell your story – even the really hard or gory details of it, I can listen and bear witness. As someone who spent 3 years as a Child Protection Social Worker and a few more years offering trauma de-briefing in high-violence communities in South Africa, I can assure you that I have experience bearing witness to some of the most awful, appalling stories. Your story is unlikely to shock or scare me.

I use a variety of techniques drawn from appreciative enquiry, neuro-linguistic psychology, narrative therapy, art therapy, and solutions-focused therapy, and you’ll find that our sessions are surprisingly “un-depressing” in their content and focus. You won’t have to repeatedly go over your story and focus on the painful parts, in order to make sense of it and feel better. Instead, our process will help you to understand how your meaning-making is causing you pain, and you’ll learn ways to edit your story and meaning-making so that you can feel and be more of what you want to feel and be.

Rather than being a depressing process, I can assure you that being able to be a part of co-creating and witnessing your liberation into wholeheartedness, resilience and resourcefulness is an incredible gift and inspiration to me.

What’s your refund policy?
If you don’t feel that we’re a good fit, didn’t get anything useful, or if you’re dissatisfied for any reason after our first session, we’ll quit there and I’ll return 100% of your investment to you, no quibbles. Because of the significant time and energy investment and the fact that our session results are co-created together with you, I do not offer refunds after the first session.

Do I need to prepare anything before we speak?
When you sign up for your coaching sessions, you’ll be emailed a welcome pack with some basic information forms to fill out and some pre-work to prepare for our first session. I’ll ask you to fill out these forms and send them back to me 24 hours before our first session. This will prepare us both for our first session.

How do I get started?

  1. Pick a package, order it and make your payment. (If you’re unsure which package is right for you, then I’m happy to have a chat with you and hear a bit about where you’re at, and help you with your decision. Just drop me an email at cath (at) rememberingforgood (dot) com and we can set up a time to speak.
  2. You’ll receive an email within 30mins, thanking you for your payment and giving you details to download your welcome pack.
  3. I’ll email you within 48hrs to set up a time for our first session.
  4. You’ll send me your completed welcome pack (there’s a section for you to fill out) 48 hours before our first session and during the first session we’ll get straight to work on the changes you want to make.

Any other questions?
Drop me an email and I’ll be happy to answer any further questions to have or help you decide what package would be best for you. You can email me at cath (at) rememberingforgood (dot) com.