Category Archives: Feeling It All

Grieving Newtown (And Everything Else We Grieve Deeply For)

Grief is designed for slowing us down and turning us inward to reflect on our beliefs and values, so that we can integrate new ways of being that are closer to our deepest truths. I’m not suggesting that this is *why* losses happen – just that *when* losses happen, we have EVERYTHING we need inside of ourselves to process those losses and use it to feel safe and well again, and to become more of the person we want to be.

You can trust this. Really. Turn off the TV, stop reading the crappy “journalism” about Newtown, and instead slow down and reflect on your own experience of what happened in Newtown, and of all the other losses you grieve deeply for. Let your grief show you your own deepest values and make your own meaning rather than relying on the media to tell you what this means.

I’m not suggesting that you isolate yourself – connection is vital when we’re grieving. But media can never offer you the rich connection, belonging and love that you can experience with friends and family. Huddle close with the people you love, and let grief bring out what’s real and true for all of you. Witness, share, and act on *that,* and you will have everything you need to feel safe and well, and to transform grief into growth.

Three Precious Words For Grievers & The People Supporting Them

Yes. You can say you don’t know. In fact, please be willing to admit that when it comes to the mysteries of life and death and grief there’s so much you don’t know! Your beloved died suddenly and you don’t know know what to make of it. You don’t know what death was like for them,Continue Reading

A Creative Practice For Living Wholeheartedly After Loss

Most people who are struggling with grief don’t come to me saying, “I want to learn to live wholeheartedly after loss.” Usually, they say something like, “I want to stop feeling so depressed/ anxious/ tired/ angry. I want to stop crying all the time/ feeling demotivated and direction-less/ avoiding intimacy because I’m afraid of lovingContinue Reading

“Security Comes From Knowing That, Whatever Happens, You Can Handle It…” (And Other Wisdom I’m Remembering)

Sometimes I read stuff I wrote way back when, and I think, “I wrote that… I didn’t even know that I knew that?” ‘Cos I forget, you know. I wrote this post in Sept 2009. Today I’m remembering it and wanted to share this adapted version with you. I found this video of a sandContinue ReadingContinue Reading

Trying To Be Positive Doesn’t Work – Especially When You’re Grieving

I originally wrote this entry on 28 October 2010 at The responses can still be found at the original post. After my post sharing about the death and birth of our little girl, I was flooded with emails – people sharing their stories of similar experiences, people expressing gratitude for something they resonated withContinue ReadingContinue Reading

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